here's one that I wrote while in a silly mood.
My wife was playing "fat bottomed girls" from CD for my daughter, which got me to thinking....
Welcome to Las Vegas
The barkeep said to me
What brings you to town? he asked
As he served me my iced tea
Here for gambling or a show?
No none of that, you see
I'm a doctor here to present
To the board of proctology
chorus:
oh, she's my stool queen
the loveliest i've seen
taking up two bar stools in
size 16 jeans
she's my stool queen
and she's mine, all mine
from her head to her toes
to where the sun don't shine
I first spotted her that night
When she cast me a jowly look
Her pasty skin, than double chin
And I knew that I'd been hooked
She waved me over with a flabby arm
And gave me a toothy grin
Cleared some space on her ample lap
And invited me to settle in
Chorus
After giving her a thorough physical exam
I looked deep into her eyes
Took a deep breath and let it all out
“Honey, will you be my bride?â€
There I sat quite anxiously
Squeezed by her thighs of thunder
She smiled at me, a bright sweet smile,
And tore my heart asunder
I'm sorry hon, I can't do that
I just can't be your wife
I'm happy here just how I am
With a satisfying life
I left Las Vegas broke and broken-hearted
Sat quietly in the airport downcast and blue
Until I saw my new stool queen as I boarded that plan
Taking up all three seats in row twenty-two
Chorus
Make every day count
The title had me worried at first...in the UK at least, 'stool' has an alternative medical meaning!
David
eh, that double-entendre for "stool" was intentional. Hence the proctologist reference...
JasonG
Make every day count
:D
Ha Ha
why Im writing is to tell you I SAW HER!!
I just took a plane trip and there was a lady taking up two seats (ok maybe she was a slimmer stool queen than yours). She had to lift up the armrest so she could fit in. Lucky no-one was between us - they would not have been able to breathe.
Anyway have fun with the tune!
Ola
“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh
