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Year 14 Week 14 Downtime Blues MP3 Added

Sunday Songwriters Group

Last Post by LingDar 8 years ago

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Celt

(@celt)

Famed Member

Joined: 20 years ago

Posts: 2649

Topic starter 03/02/2016 10:55 pm

This song was written after and during short shopping trip making and eating supper running a grandson to basketball and back home before going to work a TV show at our local access.

Hence the title

MP3 now on SoundClick

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13314591

Downtime Blues

I need some downtime
I need some rest
I need to get back home
To that place I know the best
I need some downtime
To kick off my shoes
That's what I could use

This life on the road
It's getting way too hard
I'd rather be out sitting
In my own back yard
I need some downtime
To kick off my shoes
That's what I could use

I need some downtime
To lay in my bed
My Baby and me
Well that's enough said
I need some downtime
To kick off my shoes
That's what I could use

Now don't you worry
Baby do you cry
I'll be coming home
Bye and bye
We'll get us that downtime
To kick off our shoes
That's what we could use

Or (Edited Version)

Downtime Blues

I need some downtime
I need some rest
I need to get back home
To that place I know the best
I need some downtime
To get rid of my Blues
That's what I could use

This life on the road
It's getting way too hard
I'd rather be out sitting
In my own back yard
I need some downtime
To get rid of my Blues
That's what I could use

I need some downtime
Just to lie in my bed
My Baby and me
Well that's enough said
I need some downtime
To get rid of my Blues
That's what I could use

Now don't you worry
Baby do you cry
I'll be coming home
Bye and bye
We'll get us that downtime
We'll kick of our shoes
And get rid of the Blues

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt

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chefie

(@chefie)

Prominent Member

Joined: 19 years ago

Posts: 553

06/02/2016 3:23 pm

The rewrite did it for me. Good Job. When the music is done I'd love to hear it.
Neil

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Celt

(@celt)

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Joined: 20 years ago

Posts: 2649

Topic starter 06/02/2016 6:48 pm

Thanks Neil

I like the edit better too but wanted to leave the original up because it came together
so fast and during a very busy time. The changes are minor but I think they make for a
better song.

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt

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Hobson

(@hobson)

Noble Member

Joined: 15 years ago

Posts: 794

06/02/2016 6:59 pm

I like the rewrite too. I think the lyrics have universal appeal.

Renee

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Celt

(@celt)

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Joined: 20 years ago

Posts: 2649

Topic starter 07/02/2016 2:55 pm

universal appeal.

I like that! I had an on the road musician in mind but it could be a long haul trucker or
anybody who has to travel for work.

Thanks

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt

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chefie

(@chefie)

Prominent Member

Joined: 19 years ago

Posts: 553

13/02/2016 4:51 pm

Well done! I really enjoyed it!

Neil

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Celt

(@celt)

Famed Member

Joined: 20 years ago

Posts: 2649

Topic starter 15/02/2016 11:37 am

Thank You, Neil

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt

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LingDar

(@lingdar)

Eminent Member

Joined: 8 years ago

Posts: 16

26/02/2016 6:07 pm

Overall I liked it. I think the two interludes for instrumentation need to be different from the rest give it a time to really break up the song as othewise it's too repetitive and generic. Really the only criticism besides that annoying buzz.

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