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Y9 W21 - The Night She Said No (Table For One)

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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 418
Topic starter  

I found the restaurant idea to be very fertile ground for a song... perhaps too fertile!

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The night she said no was a Friday in June
A warm summer breeze drew sweet air through La Lune
The lights were down low for a mood of romance
And the hired violin serenaded their dance

The ring had been bought, and no expense spared
He'd briefed all the cooks, every dish was prepared
Oysters then salmon, just what she liked
All washed down with her favourite dry white

And over at their old table
Jean-Luc's pouring champagne
Just like those nights
Those drunken delights
When they shared taxis home in the rain

But the memory fades
And the waiter is asking
Just how he'd like his steak done
The answer is rare
But he don't really care
It's just one more night
Under dim candlelight
Alone at a table for one

As the main course was cleared the timing seemed right
This was his moment, the cusp of his life
He looked in his heart and then deep in her eyes
Took her soft hand and recited his lines

The night she said no was a heartrending scene
An act so irrational, careless and mean
His high hopes and dreams all crashed to the floor
Along with her chair as she ran for the door

And over at their old table
It's sizzling hot plates for all
Just like those nights
Those drunken delights
Both feeling ten feet tall

But the memory fades
And the waiter is saying
They're out of the red eighty-one
But water or wine
He don't really mind
It's just one more night
Under dim candlelight
Alone at a table for one

From the corner the writer looks on
Composing the words to his tragic love song
From the corner the writer looks on
Drawing on memories he thought were long gone

And over at their old table
Sparklers crackle and blaze
Just like those nights
Those drunken delights
And all of those worthless clichés

But the memory fades
And the waiter's impatient
For table thirteen to move on
Cos love comes and goes
The waiter, he knows
But it won't be tonight
Under dim candlelight
Alone at a table for one


   
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(@chris-c)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 3454
 

Hi Martin-6,

Lots to like in that one! :) Almost cinematic in approach, complete with the flashbacks, close-ups, wide angle shots and pans round the room. I enjoyed all that. Have you been setting it to music as you go along? If so, how long does it take to sing - it's quite the epic on the page. :wink:

Hoping to hear it at some stage, but if you think that's unlikely could you suggest somebody who we might imagine singing it, or give some style clues?

Chris


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Martin,

"Cinematic" Yeah that's the word.

The visual imagery really comes through and the story draws you in.

Good Job!

As I was reading this I was hearing it done as a Johnny Cash type spoken/sung
kind of thing.

:note2: :note2: :note2:

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

+1 nice write and great details :D

Thanks for sharing.


   
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