Since my song has already been revealed, I'll just give an update to All Along the Watchtower.
I wanted to keep the same imagery of a castle and a vague sense of impending doom . . .
First the original lyrics . . . and then mine in italics.
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."
"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl
And safely within his castle walls, His Highness stacks his gold
Outside the church, the friar chants while working in the cold
Hammer striking iron chisel forming words on polished stone,
“Wealth is what you give away, not what you call your own.â€
Trumpets sounding from the ramparts warn those within the keep
Captains bellow urgent orders, the children start to weep
All along the watchtower, torches fight the gloom
Peaceful slumber sometimes comes to those resting in their tomb
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Hey Ken,
Nice idea for an assignment :D This actually gives me freedom to do something I was not allowing myself to do earlier b/c I was ripping off a melody to make words work for a song, but now I can do it and call it an assignment :mrgreen:
Regarding "All Along the Watchtower" you add more details which is interesting. It's funny b/c I never pictured a castle setting, I always pictured convicts in a cement jail and orange suits when I heard this song....somewhere in Arizona :roll:
Suggestion: Consider playing on this line to make more of a resolution in the story "Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl"......what happens next? who are the riders? jail break? executioners?....for me, this would be a way to make an interesting pay off......got one more verse left in you to finish it off?...or at least turn it into an epic :lol:
Thanks for sharing.
James
Hey Ken,
Nice idea for an assignment :D This actually gives me freedom to do something I was not allowing myself to do earlier b/c I was ripping off a melody to make words work for a song, but now I can do it and call it an assignment :mrgreen:
Rip away
Regarding "All Along the Watchtower" you add more details which is interesting. It's funny b/c I never pictured a castle setting, I always pictured convicts in a cement jail and orange suits when I heard this song....somewhere in Arizona :roll:
The princes, women, and barefoot servants kind of make it a castle to me.
Suggestion: Consider playing on this line to make more of a resolution in the story "Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl"......what happens next? who are the riders? jail break? executioners?....for me, this would be a way to make an interesting pay off......got one more verse left in you to finish it off?...or at least turn it into an epic :lol:
I thought I had incorporated the 'two riders . . approaching'.
They are returning to warn of an approaching calamity . . . thus the warning trumpets, captains shouting orders, children crying . . .
And the only peace to be had is if you are already dead.
That was my intent anyway . . . back to the drawing board for me.
Arizona? :lol:
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
"The princes, women, and barefoot servants kind of make it a castle to me."
Yes, I agree. Those words just always came across slurred to me....I never bothered reading what they actually were :roll:
That was my intent anyway . . . back to the drawing board for me.
Maybe what has happened with the new characters introduced is a loss of sense of point of view....If you keep it as being from the joker and thief's point of view, an attack on the castle could be a good thing....they might end up freed
....at this point the king seems the bad guy or at least greedy.....he is counting his money will his son "the prince" is on guard duty and the monk...maybe others.... are working in the cold....with a howling wind around at least.
....also when the thief "kindly spoke" it seems to make him less the hardened criminal...maybe stole for food....maybe it was Vic's singer from this week's assignment :wink:
......and if the joker is in prison as well, it seems the king doesn't have much of a sense of humor to imprison him...wasn't the joker's job to be the devil's advocate to get away with saying things others couldn't so the emperor would not be caught wearing no clothes...or with egg on his face to outsiders?
...."Regarded as pets or mascots, they served not simply to amuse but to criticise their master or mistress and their guests. Queen Elizabeth (reigned 1558-1603) is said to have rebuked one of her fools for being insufficiently severe with her. Excessive behaviour, however, could lead to a fool being whipped, as Lear threatens to whip his fool. [1]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jester
It's ok if you don't agree with this train of logic....I don't think there were any castles built in Arizona anyway. :lol:
I stand corrected again...."Montezuma Castle".......and this Arizonian castle has a mystery "And for unknown reasons, the Sinaqua abandoned their habitat in this Verde Valley Arizona area in the 1400s."
http://www.arizona-leisure.com/montezuma-castle.html
....and then there is Arizona's Mystery Castle
http://www.phoenixasap.com/phoenix-mystery-castle.html
:shock:
I'm going to guess that your inspiration song was All Along The Watchtower.
Sorry, will read it properly later, am a bit busy today.
Hmmm . . . a drive-by critique . . .
I expect nothing less than a full and thorough analysis of my lyrics now . . . Ms. Scrybe.
(After all, there are many ways to say "This is crap." :mrgreen: )
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
"This is crap."
Wow, Ken, don't be so hard on yourself! :lol: Yeah, this is a good song... funny how people are talking about the different imagery they see when they hear it. I usually see Vietnam movies, and veiled references to the book of "Ezekiel", where the watchman is required to warn of danger, or else he is responsible for the towns blood. It seems in the song, the one guy sees everyone acting wrongly without punishment, and the thief concludes with the answer "let us not talk falsely", that a warning still must be given.
It seems the song (Dylan's version) ends with war on it's way, and the question of whether the watchmen were responsible.
Anyway, I think you have the feel for the song. I would like to see the king not really being as safe as he feels, just under the illusion of safety... just a thought.
Jeremy
And my Soundclick Page to listen to my song submissions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=903876
Wow, Ken, don't be so hard on yourself! :lol:
LOL, thanks Jerm, for the comment.
I was just leaving it wide open . . . allowing for the full spectrum of commentary . . . from 'Brilliant!" to :roll:
This might seem weird but I think, along with rhyme, there's another characteristic to lyrics that enhances a song.
I mean even if the words were nonsensical . . .
if the syllables and consonants fit the rhythm or the beat/counter beat, it enhances the song.
I think that's what Dylan has going for him in this song . . .
or maybe I'm just used to the the words so they seem to fit.
I just wanted to continue the story that he started here.
It seems he left it up in the air . . . maybe pooped out.
My imagery of the conversation of the thief and joker is that they are in a tavern, talking over an ale . . .
Anyway, yeh, the king is about to lose his kingdom :wink:
Thanks for the input.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
