Y12W43 Lost and Found
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12895805
=====Revised Version=====
It’s the end of a day for the prisoners of war
Sunburned, blistered, hungry and sore
A Japanese guard stops everyone
A shovel’s gone missing; the interrogation’s begun
The guard demands confession for the heinous crime
He cocks his rifle; they’re all going to die
Stiffly at attention in the jungle heat
‘Til one brave soldier steps forward and speaks
Lost and found
Lost and found
What was lost will be found
The guard starts the beating; the soldier’s face is bleeding
No words are spoken; there’s no bother pleading
His skull splits open; he’s clearly dead
But the guard doesn’t stop ‘til he’s out of breath
Back at the guard house the men are astounded
No shovels are missing a guard had miscounted
Their hope in humanity returned that night
An innocent man made the ultimate sacrifice
Lost and found
Lost and found
What was lost is found
=====Original Version=====
It’s the end of a day for the prisoners of war
Sunburned, blistered, hungry and sore
A Japanese guard stops everyone
A shovel’s gone missing; the interrogation’s begun
The guard demands confession for the heinous crime
He cocks his rifle; they’re all going to die
Stiffly at attention in the jungle heat
‘Til one brave soldier steps forward and speaks
Lost and found
Lost and found
What was lost will be found
The guard starts the beating; the soldier’s face is bleeding
No words are spoken; there’s no bother pleading
His skull splits open; he’s clearly dead
But the guard doesn’t stop ‘til he’s out of breath
Back at the guard house the men are astounded
No shovels are missing a guard had miscounted
An innocent man made a sacrifice
He gave the other soldiers hope for their lives
Lost and found
Lost and found
What was lost is found
Good morning / evening, James
Nice work here - story is spare and poignant. The music creates a compelling mood (especially like the harmonies on the choruses) that drives the narrative.
Any particular reason why the last stanza is totally in past tense while the rest of the song is in present tense? In the first two lines you could easily mix the two:
Back at the guard house the men are astounded
No shovels are missing a guard had miscounted
An innocent man made a sacrifice
He gave the other soldiers hope for their lives
Looking forward, as always, to more.
Peace
Hi David,
Any particular reason why the last stanza is totally in past tense while the rest of the song is in present tense?
I was using the present tense to bring the listener into the story more and figured the climax was the death, but really the revealing of the miscount is the crux of the story......
.....I like the flow with your suggestion better.....thanks!.....**POOF**** :mrgreen: present tense
By the way, this one is a true story if anyone is interested.
Miracle on the River Kwai pgs 88-89
ISBN 978-0006232650
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Gordon
Thanks for the listen and post :D
James
Hi James,
nice work here, the story progresses well and you choice of music fits. The only thing that piques me are these 2 lines:
An innocent man made a sacrifice
He gave the other soldiers hope for their lives
I'm not sure why his sacrifice gives them hope for their lives. Hope for humanity maybe.
cheers
Paul
Hi Paul,
I'm not sure why his sacrifice gives them hope for their lives. Hope for humanity maybe.
You've got the right idea....maybe the wording is a bit off.....the lost and found is the hope for their own humanity.....
how about.....his sacrifice gives them hope IN their lives
or..... his sacrifice RESTORES hope IN their lives
or..... his sacrifice RESTORES the hope IN their lives
or.......his sacrifice RESTORES the hope IN their eyes
Maybe something like this, its not quite right but close
His selfless giving his innocent life
Gives hope for humanity through sacrifice
just turning it on its head. Actually there's a biblical overtone in there I think.
POOF Changes made :mrgreen:
Their hope in humanity returned that night
An innocent man made the ultimate sacrifice
Thanks for the feedback :wink:
Interesting story and well done song
Thanks, John!
