I've posted this - for now - as it was written. Reading back through it, I really don't like the first verse.... it started out as a bit of fun, but got a little more serious, and the first verse doesn't seem to gel with the rest of the song. I'm in two minds whether or not to rewrite it, or just drop it altogether - the last two lines in particular wouldn't be out of place in a Noel Coward monologue, but although I do like them, they seem totally out of place here. Anyway, see what you think....
Whatever.
(V1)The things that I like are no good for me,
They're immoral, unhealthy or non-PC,
But the things I hate are all so splendid,
And all come highly recommended?
(V2)The things that I do in an average day,
Might turn a few heads but it's just my way,
I won't play your games, you keep changing the rules,
And I've got no time for you PC fools....
(Chorus)Whatever I do, whatever I say,
Will never come back to haunt me one day,
'Cause my aura's good and my karma's fine,
So don't crowd my space and don't cross my line...
(V3)I live my life by my own moral code,
So if you don't like it get out of the road,
Don't criticise what you can't understand,
Or beware the wrath of a gentle man...
(Chorus)Whatever I do, whatever I say,
Will never come back to haunt me one day,
'Cause my aura's good and my karma's fine,
So don't crowd my space and don't cross my line...
(Bridge)I never learned the meaning of "moderation,"
I go over the top in most situations,
I never learned restraint for my part,
Life's for the living, not the faint-of-heart....
(Chorus)Whatever I do, whatever I say,
Will never come back to haunt me one day,
'Cause my aura's good and my karma's fine,
So don't crowd my space and don't cross my line...
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Vic
By strange happenstance, I read this almost immediately after hearing (for the first time in ages) "The Hard Way" by The Kinks, so I'm having a tough time not "hearing" the lyrics without that music as a bit of a filter. Works nicely, by the way.
I agree with you on the first verse. The first two lines are totally covered by the rest of the song, so they're essentially redundant. And the last two lines, while good, are never touched upon again. It's almost like they're part of a different, although similarly themed song.
Doing away with it altogether is a good call.
But, having said that, you could also make the case for using it as a Tin Pan Alley style introduction, something that's done almost freestyle simply in order to bring one into the song, almost like a carnival barker. The intro to the Beatles' "Honey Pie" would be an example of this.
Personally, as much as I flip between these two ideas, I think maybe saving the last two lines of the first verse as seed material for a future tune is probably best.
You're closing out 2013 on a very strong note! Looking forward to more.
Peace
Hi Vic,
yes I think this works :D , I think the story your telling starting from the particular V2 (Im assuming V1 disappears) to the general V3 is good. The chorus and bridge, one being behavioral and the other rationale fit nicely in this structure as well.
Yes I agree the Kinks "The Hard Way" is a good fit musically for this
cheers
Paul
Hey Vic, looks like we're both trying to dust off the old writing chops, eh? I agree with David that the last two lines of your first verse are awesome, and if you don't stick em in here somewhere, use them in anther song definitely.
Why do I see you pointing a certain digit when I read some of your lyric? :twisted:
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Why do I see you pointing a certain digit when I read some of your lyric?
Really? why would you EVER get that impression? I'm a cute cuddly teddy bear, me, really....about as dangerous as one of Cliff Richard's plecs. Although, in the hands of an untrained warrior, that could do some serious ear damage....but in the hands of a guitar ninja.....heh heh!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
While I am in agreement with you and the others about the fit of the first verse, I am amazed that you came up with this nice piece in just a few days. You have a good start on what could be a great song and you have seed material for 2014. Way to end the year.
you and the others about the fit of the first verse
+1
Thanks for sharing, Vic. :D
Hey hey Mr Lewis :)
(V1)The things that I like are no good for me,
They're immoral, unhealthy or non-PC,
But the things I hate are all so splendid,
And all come highly recommended?
That is so cool :) I read that an said , jee wizz Vic get off my Face Book page an writing songs about me ..ha ha ha ha
Great Lyrics mate would love to hear it :)
Trev .. :D :D :note2: :note2: :note1: :note2: :note2: :note1:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
